Fourth of July-My Freedom Feels Compromised

Ah, it has been almost FOUR fabulous months since I last took a drink. Things have been going swimmingly, so much so I have not felt the need to come back here to my sobriety blogs. As much as I do enjoy the sobriety blogs I read here and I appreciate greatly how much they had helped me in the beginning weeks of my sober venture, I have not felt compelled to come back here. I guess I thought I did not need to come here anymore. I did not feel I was cured, lord knows I am not the dense and I do know one is never truly cured from alcoholism. I just felt I did not have to think about alcohol anymore. Out of site, out of mind.

That is until today. I feel like crying I want to drink SO BAD today. I woke up wanting to drink. I want booze today. I want Wine, Beer, Margaritas, vodka martini’s. I am thinking what a lucky lady I once was to be able to indulge as much I ever wanted to! I’m thinking I can just hole myself in my house and no one would ever know! I just want to drink so bad today and I am so upset that I feel this way.

There is the celebration of the fourth of July in the air. I cancelled a work event I was scheduled to attend because of what I feel today. There are pool parties, BBQ, the squeal of early fireworks going off around the neighborhood. I know this feeling will pass, I just hope it will be soon 😦